Intentionality

I’m Afraid

I’m afraid.

I’m afraid that my biggest contribution to the world is in overpopulation.

I’m afraid I’m not good enough for my boyfriend.

I’m afraid I don’t show my family that I love them as much as a should.

I’m afraid I won’t find a job.

I’m afraid that I will run out of money.

I’m afraid of winter in NYC.

I’m afraid of one day waking up fat.

I’m afraid that I am not good enough, for myself and for humanity.

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This fear, this emotion, creeps through my skin like food coloring flows through water, starting slowly and then gradually taking over my body. I feel it in the tips of my fingers. I feel it in the souls of my feet. At times it feels paralyzing. Like my brain is on fire.

But, I don’t let it control my life. My being. My presence. I channel these fears into action. Texting with my mom, going out to pick up my boyfriend’s favorite foods, spending time with friends, running until I am out of breathe, watching my spending, and being patient in building a career that I am passionate about.

There are things you can control in life, and there are things you can’t. Focus on the things you can influence their outcomes and don’t let your fear take over your life.

 

We are all afraid of something, but our joy for life always triumphs. Go out there, choose your happiness, be free in making decisions, and live life moment by moment.

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2 thoughts on “I’m Afraid

  1. I’m afraid too
    I’m afraid of change
    I am afraid that my fear of flying someday will get so bad I won’t be able to see those I love
    I’m afraid something will happen to one of my children and if they died I would go insane
    I’m afraid that the single episode of depression I had 20 years ago will come back
    I’m afraid the minor forgetfulness I have now is a sign of something worse and I will completely loose my memory
    I’m afraid that is happening to dad too
    I’m afraid that medicine is changing so fast I won’t be able to keep up
    I’m afraid medicine is changing so fast I won’t enjoy practicing it any longer
    I’m afraid my body is getting old and I won’t ever be able to run long distances again
    But I have a strong faith that I believe will carry me.
    I have to believe that my faith will be stronger than my fear
    Phillipians 3: 6-7. Verse to remember in times of fear for peace in my heart.

    Like

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