While I may seem like a very active person, I like to spend a lot of time in bed. I used to not think that one was supposed to spend time in bed unless you were ready to go to sleep (within 30 minutes, perhaps a bit of reading to get sleepy), but after living with other people (Santiago and roommates), I realized how nice it is to have a morning, afternoon, or evening in bed, perhaps even the whole day there. Growing up, I had thought that you weren’t allowed to do that unless you were sick, but sometimes we are in need of some relaxation to keep from getting sick and to recharge. My bed is now a sanctuary where I can feel calm, rest and recharge.
The past week or so my bed couldn’t be that place because of some mice that have visited our apartment. I don’t like to complain because I have a very nice and comfortable life, but waking up at 3am to the sound of scratching of mice under my closet was a bit disturbing to falling back asleep. And perhaps more importantly than the loss of sleep, it caused me not to want to spend additional time in bed – the time when I wouldn’t be sleeping.
When you lose a place of comfort its easy to feel destabilized. Even with yoga, running, spending time with my friends to feel better, it was strange not to have my bed as a place of comfort and to recharge. I keep thinking about what other activities, places and people I use to feel recharged and to get my sense of calm.
I realize that I haven’t written in a few weeks because of this feeling of destabilization, because I like to write from bed. Without the surrounding of my bed, I wasn’t sure where I wanted to write from. My desk I use for drawing mostly now, and my kitchen table seems of a more formal place to write from (but from where I am writing now).
This is not meant to be a complaint, because I am ok. I am happy. I am able to still do the things that make me happy and be with the people who make me happy. I am very grateful for the people who have reminded me that even if I loose one “place of calmness” that I can still carry on and feel like myself.