We are changing all the time. Not just our cells that make up our bodies, but our minds, our actions, our intentions. Deleting, adding, adjusting, staying the same…
A few weeks ago, I attended an evening of philosophy that had numerous lectures, workshops and activities. I went by myself because I failed to recruit any friends to spend their Friday evenings listening to talks about “what we owe to each other” or about the Socratic Discourse.
When I was there, I joined a drawing and painting activity where we were giving a few options to pursue. I chose to make a self portrait, and this is what I came up with.
There are two people that I started to develop in this image. The person at the bottom like a wave, and the one upside down with a leaf and circles coming out of the head. It can also be seen from the inverse direction.
I started this activity with only 10 minutes to do it. A time limitation that felt like real life. A project that I wanted more time to complete. A part of me that I wanted more time to work on. A project that is never fully done. A project of self that is always incomplete.
I have this painting by my bed now, and I think about where I am in it. Who am I? Am I her in blue? Am I swirling through space? Perhaps I am also the red flowers on the sides. Perhaps I am part of the red and yellow triangles of light. Perhaps I am part of the leaves.
I think I am all of those things. Piece by piece. At different moments. Changing and swirling through time.
As an artist presenting a lecture at the business school yesterday said, “to do anything, you always have a piece of yourself you must leave behind.”
I can’t keep all aspects of myself. But I will try and preserve the good ones and keep iterating on others. Letting that which is ephemeral be ephemeral.