Intentionality

Why Are Our Lives So Different?

I spent this past long weekend with my dear grandparents in Wisconsin. While I am not going to write directly about the time we shared together because it was deeply personal, I have kept thinking about how life now is much different from when my grandparents were my age.

Whatever happened to keeping a job, getting married, and having kids? Wasn’t that more than enough, even today?

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I watched some home videos that my grandparents had made of their honeymoon ski trip and then some clips of them taking my mom and her siblings on a number of different camping trips. It was so fun to see my mom growing up and my grandparents as people at my current age.

There was so much joy and laughter, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I had forgotten what it could be like to live as they had. Valuing marriage, having kids, and supporting and loving your family.

What do people my age (27 to be exact) value now?

Freedom to travel?

The world today seems to be at our finger tips. Really, its quite easy to get to the other side of the world. You can fly from NYC to Dubai in just 12 hours. I feel as if that if this ease of travel has shrunken the world, and it’s almost a contest between people to see who has been to more places. But who really cares?

Having different jobs?

Well, I have had 5 jobs in 5 years, but if I would have found one that I really loved, then I would have stayed. I think I would like to stay 10+ years in a job if it were something I truly enjoyed. But maybe this is something people can brag about too, taking on various jobs?

I have consistently felt that my relationships with family and friends have always been the most important aspects of my life, but I worry that my actions have not showed this.

I feel more lost now thinking about how to view my life and what I really want. Being with my grandparents reminded me the importance of family and the joy that can come from being married to the person you love and from raising kids of your own.

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I will continue to think about this and would welcome any thoughts on the topic…

 

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4 thoughts on “Why Are Our Lives So Different?

  1. Living with the Robertsons often seemed like the Brady bunch, full of love and unconditional support. We ate dinner together almost every night, we had rules that created respect for each other, we viewed our siblings as our best friends. My parents did not fight in front of us, and did not tolerate fighting between the siblings. They created fun out of the mundane, were consistent in their rules individually and together, established expectations that were fair. As children, we knew our parents expected only our best, meaning it wasn’t about grades or social collateral or sports accolades. We knew we were loved, and were free to develop to our full potential.
    I think in the end, we developed into loving, sharing, genuinely happy caregiver types. We see our siblings now in the same light, happy for their (and their family’s) success, and happy to just get time together. The charge we now carry is to pass that healthy family culture to the next generation. Your generation. And if we are really good, really lucky, and really old, maybe another generation. And if we are audacious enough to call that a mentorship, then we are to lead by example. Your parents have clearly done that well, as they are spectacular people. At some point, however, the mantle of human development must be passed to the next generation. You are free to develop your own interests, priorities, and life pathways on your terms. That has been the basis for your blog from day one. You have made great choices already, and no doubt will continue to do so. There are no scripted answers, but the great thing for you is that you have some really solid examples to serve as foundation. And a family that will always love you fiercely, in a way that Gumpy has so fondly coined “Loving is doing.” We will actively, physically, emotionally, and intellectually let you know that you are fully loved.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Uncle Kevin, thank you for sharing this. We have a very special family. I feel very lucky to be a part of it. I think you and your siblings have done an amazing job of sharing your values with your kids – me and my cousins, and hopefully this love from family, supporting us and setting us free into the world, will be something we can continue to pass on through generations long after all of us are gone.

      Like

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