No one day is the same, but they sometimes feel like they are, especially in the pandemic.
I try to wake up slowly and not let anxiety take root in the first few minutes. I wonder what is happening today in the world – how are the coronavirus cases? how are countries reopening? are businesses able to reopen? how are people feeling?
It could be April. It could be August. It’s September?
Life has never felt more like an existential movie than it has the past few months. There is something strange about time passing when they are spent constantly within the same confines of space. Each day, making up a routine, one spent looking constantly at the same walls and objects.
In South Carolina, I made a nest, just like Sushi who had her space in the kitchen and in the sofa. I sat in a space filled with books, with art and colored pencils, with photos of loved ones, with cozy blankets, with flags from countries I’ve visited around the world, with funny slippers, with socks my mom knit, with childhood “friends” (stuffed Mr Potato Heads in the corner), with cups of tea and coffee. A tiny space in a big world. Every day finding my way into the space, giving myself time to think and to work.
Then with little notice, on a Wednesday, I was confirmed on a flight that left that Friday. After all the days, upstairs in my nest, it felt odd to bring just one suitcase to my next home in Bogota. Of my 3 “pets” – rabbit, pomeranian and dancing snowman – only the smallest fit in the bag. But my excitement to be with my beloved made it easier to detach from the the tangible items and clothes I was leaving behind.
We are living in strange times no doubt. I try and not let the uncertainty of the days, weeks and months, let anxiety win over building spaces and moments with those I can spend time with in those spaces. I will be forever grateful for the time I spent in the pandemic with friends in Boston, with parents in South Carolina, and now with my dear Santi in Colombia.
Sometimes the days feel like they blur together, but then I remember the moments – dancing yoga with mom, a bike ride with dad, cooking regular pasta and shrimp tacos for my parents, and many others. Life may not seem like it was before COVID, and it probably won’t again anytime soon, but I am grateful to have spent these months of the pandemic with those that I love.