Intentionality

5 Things I Have Learned About Love

allisonavoss

“The more you know, the more you don’t know” – Aristotle

Of course, these are things I think I know about love, but perhaps I don’t know what I’m talking about. So take everything with a grain of salt…

1. A wise woman once told me that a relationship is 60/40, each giving the other 60%. You have to give more than you take for it to work. It is better to give love than to receive love.

2. If you cannot give yourself love, then you cannot truly love someone else. You cannot expect that someone else’s love for you can fill the gaps of love that you have missing for yourself. You should love yourself first, and than you have space to let love in from someone else.

3. You will find love when you stop trying so hard. It can’t be forced. It has to come natural. When you find that you want to be with someone more than you want to do something for yourself, then you might be close to finding it. When that love makes you want to do great things, amazing things, pushing you to be a better you, then you have found something magical.

4. Expectations are important. If you expect someone to buy you flowers or shower you with gifts, that’s fine, just make sure he/she knows that’s important to you. If you both don’t manage each others expectations, that’s when feelings get hurt. You can’t expect them to read your mind. Make sure each of you know what’s important to the other.

5. When you have love to give and a full heart to share, you stop worrying about things that don’t matter. About the clothes you wear, about the calories you eat, about going to the newest restaurant. And you start to realize how trivial a lot of those things are to your happiness. Love can you blind for the better. Blind to things that are unimportant.

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I wake up everyday madly in love. It’s a difficult feeling to describe. I feel mental sometimes, like this love has made me insane. Maybe that’s why it’s been described as “falling in love,” “love sick,” or “crazy in love,” because it completely absorbs our sense of being.

And that being the case, I hope to be sick a very long time.

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Happy new year and look forward to continuing to connect in 2017!

6 thoughts on “5 Things I Have Learned About Love”

  1. Interesting thought “Mom” You are right about different kinds of Love. I was so nuts about my present husband, that when I found out that I was pregnant, I was very worried. I didn’t think I could possibly love a baby because I loved him so much. Luckily, he was wiser than I and understood a bit more that I did.
    Romantic love does calm down after a while, and it is a good thing to have some things in common, like values and interests.

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    1. The thing about Love that to me is THE MOST AMAZING is that I believe it to be unlimited. So I had a similar concern except mine was about not being able to love a second child as much as the first and guess what, you absolutely can love each and every human being as much as the next!!!! It’s hard to understand how that works but I truly believe it is infinite. A parent who has 15 kids loves each one as much as a parent who has 1. You don’t have to share a percentage of 100% love. Each one gets a full 100%. Glad I am not a math major!! Pretty cool tho

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      1. That is cool! I do feel like the amount of love you have to give doesn’t always add up to 100%, and that how much one person has to love for others is different. For instance, the love I have for the people in my life can’t be measured or compared to the love that someone else has for the people in their life. I dont know if I’m just talking gibberish, but I think love is hard to measure since it is unlimited.

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    2. I do agree that romantic love changes. Even after 2 years of being with Santiago, the love we have has changed. It is not the same puppy love that we had for each other when we first started dating, but now something rooted in a common sense of being or living. Each supporting the other in their dreams and aspirations and finding joy in time and moments spent together. It becomes a deep respect for your partners life and a longing to support him/her in living the best life they can live and them doing the same for you. That’s just part of how I feel about romantic love now. Always changing, but always there in mind, body and soul.

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  2. That’s a hilarious picture of the food in front of Santi!!! Thanksgiving at its best!!! Glad you have had such deep meaningful relationship and know how love can feel. I think you should consider writing about different types of love. For instance loving people like friends family that are not romantic type love. It’s the same yet different. Interesting topic for future! Love you Allie❤

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